A Lesson in Biology

Bridge across a river entering the lake at Yi He Yuan.

Walking through Yi He Yuan, my students twittered at an information placard. Susan leaned near me and translated: “It says the men who served the emperor, they removed six organs.”

I knew the emperor had allowed only eunuchs to serve him, in order to keep his wives and concubines safe. What I didn’t know was about the, ahem, eunuchification process – exactly what was removed, when, how, and to what effects. Learning that so many organs were removed, I was stunned. “Are you joking?” I asked. “Six organs?”

“Yes,” she laughed. “They removed six organs.”

Quick mental tally: two male orbs, appendix, one kidney … perhaps the gall bladder? I was coming up short. “That doesn’t make sense,” I said. “You can’t live without six organs.”

She laughed again. They were all laughing. “Yes. It is quite easy to live without six organs, I think. All of the men had them removed.”

“No,” I insisted, “there’s no way you can live without six organs. It’s impossible.” Everyone was laughing and blushing. There was a mystery here, some inside joke I wasn’t getting, and I wanted to understand. “Tell me which organs they removed.”

She hesitated, bit her lip. Maybe she didn’t know the English words for some internal organs. “Okay, the kidney,” I said, pointing at one side of the small of my back – to which everyone exploded with guffaws. “The appendix,” I continued, taking a random guess at a spot beneath my ribcage. “What else?”

Less laughter now; everyone was blushing furiously. Susan’s face seemed pained, which confused me — all she had to do was point. Instead she looked away and protested, “But I already told you, they removed six organs –”

That’s when I finally got it: sex organs.

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