Ting

The bicycle parking lot attendant had told me something I didn’t understand. No surprise there – I didn’t get 90% of what people said to me. “Wo bu dong (I don’t understand),” I replied — a phrase I used about ten times in every conversation.

“Ting bu dong,” she replied.

Hunh. Ting bu dong. It sounded like my motto. Wo meant “I” – so who was ting? It rang a faint bell but I couldn’t recall it.

She expected me to respond. I shook my head, smiled sheepishly and repeated, “Wo bu dong.”

“Ting bu dong,” she repeated.

Ting again. Whatever it meant, it was important enough to repeat. I searched through my limited vocabulary, trying to puzzle it out. Ting, ting … what could she be trying to say? Another head shake, another sheepish apologetic smile: “Wo bu dong.”

“Ting bu dong,” she insisted.

This was becoming humiliating. “Du bu qi (Excuse me),” I apologized. “Wo bu dong, zai jian (I don’t understand, goodbye).” I stepped away with her muttering “Ting bu dong” behind me.

At home I dug out my dictionary. Ting meant “to hear.” Hear not understand? That didn’t make sense.

At the canteen I asked my students, who explained: “Ting bu dong, it means I can hear you, but I do not understand your words.”

“She didn’t understand me? I said Wo bu dong. I say that all the time – everyone understands me.”

“No no no no no,” they laughed. “You said Wo bu dong, it means I cannot understand you, as in I cannot hear your voice. Instead what you should say is Ting bu dong.”

In other words I’d been using the wrong phrase in every Mandarin conversation I’d ever had. For months. Ting bu dong. The parking lot attendant had been correcting my poor grammar.

And all I could parrot back at her was Wo bu dong …

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